What makes me quiver
Is what makes me eager
Is what keeps the bats hanging from the ceiling of my mind
The cobwebs clench onto the unspoken thoughts
The spiders scatter across unconscious motivators
I refuse to learn of who I am
For I am scared that the true soul behind the gleaming steel mask is a pathetic sparrow with broken wings
Who cannot even pretend to be able to fly
Unlike my artificial wings I strap on every morning
Pretending I’m fine
Pretending each step as I go into flight isn’t like trudging through mud
But this mask is a straight jacket
I strap onto myself
That entraps the struggle;
The internal wrestling match I have with myself.
I don’t want to be a hassle,
I have all the luxuries and privileges a 21st century kid could ever want,
So for me to struggle day after day
From a consuming worry
That pervades the space I take
That distracts me from the present
That drags me under the past
That shakes the ground beneath me
Leaving cracks before each step,
Is foolish,
To be sad
To be scared
To be frustrated about things that only exist in my head,
But it’s not as simple as readjusting my focus
It isn’t as easy as putting on a clean shirt and walking out the door
But it is because I have access to these very things,
It is because there are so many people who don’t,
That I
Cannot validate my pain
Yet I still feel it,
It suffocates me the way cold air down your back makes you shudder,
It is because I tell myself that I do not have the right to feel the way I do that it consumes me.
Each night,
And I can’t sleep,
Dark dreams,
Wake in sweat,
St-st-stuttered speech,
Hidden opinions,
Deluded hopes.
Good one. Introducing the context is well done.xx
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Yay! Thanks for the feedbacl
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