(to see you) Coming Undone

To see you choke back tears,
to see so much pain in your eyes
to see a stern man coming undone,

reaching out
with a glance,
a single sigh,
letting out a lifetime of held-in breaths,

why are men so often urged to shut away their souls
from the breadth of their sleeve,

if I could say one thing, it’d be this,
it’s never too late to turn around,
please know that we all love you,
please know that you’ll be alright

we won’t abandon you
your love for us has not been in vain

your love for the history of your land
and your deep desire to share it
with us is sacred,

your passion for cultivating vegetables and olives
and lavender bushes and roses
for breathing in the life this land breathes into itself,
that so many people now trample and build over,

reminds me to always return to what makes life feel like magic,
to what makes life feel like living

so when you feel let down or left out,
all those times you let yourself down,
please know that everybody goes through the pains
of facing themselves,

this is where nature can take us in
and mend our tired souls and muddled hearts
and return us to ourselves,

you used to complain that we watched too much TV, too many movies,
and from a young age I took this in
and went outside just to jump on the trampoline among the olive trees,

badminton and totem tennis by the bushes,
backyard cricket,
basketball in the barn,
chalk creations across the concrete,
and cultivating our own little gardens,

just to play cops and robbers on our bikes,
sorry for that time I crashed into you at high speed
at the bottom of the gravel hill,

to swing among the garden beds on a tire you tied to a tree,
to make mud cakes in the sandpit and serve them in our own little cubby house built for us,

all our days spent digging out trenches in that huge pile of rocks beneath the dead-old-tree,

I still live by the philosophy that when you are able to go outside, go. Play.

Yeah I’ve missed many TV series and classic movies
but I’m forever thankful for your example and your loud-mumbled-grumbles,

just to drink the nectar of this earth
and immerse myself in the mysteries and boundless adventures to be had,

please know that we love you,
that you are not alone,
that we will not abandon you
now that she has passed on.

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