Crashing into Clouds

Somebody! Sound the alarm bell
ring it twice, if you will,

please sir,
it’s an emergency,
I’m falling,
into this heart pumping, vein pulsing,
sweaty palms kinda, slipping
into this requiem
weaving between sleeping and waking
this limbo, in-between place
where the ghosts of my past go to contemplate their next attack,

please madame,
I’ve lost my grip and the ground is sinking beneath me,
this falling is relentless
catching wind
clinging to dust,
this falling is getting heavy,
don’t think I can catch myself,

feet tucked in, hmmph,
nope, not that,
arms spread like wings, aahhh, oh wait no, oh no, definitely not that,

Thump!

okay, ground, is that you?
Is there anyone around, I’m confused

I need to keep this vehicle focused
straight ahead I’ll be steering,
the gasometer reads close to zero
and there are winding roads ahead,
I uh don’t think I can surpass this road block up ahead,

hey! You over there,
have you got anything to ease the latitude
Something to slow this thing down,
I just need something to steady the beat,

okay so,
I cut off the phone line,
tried suffocating the valve,
stopped visiting that part of town,
cut my hair short,
dyed it purple and green and blonde,
tried closing my eyes
without seeing your face under the lids,
but you’re standing there, vivid,
Your eyes like darts, piercing my flesh,
I’ve tried all of these things
but every time I come close to a beautiful thing
I drown in it, it suffocates me, I smother it’s freshness, it withers me,

my heart is still cascading through the clouds
while I grind through the gravel,
missing the clear roads before me
and the petrol station ahead,
the gasometer keeps beep beep beeping,
pings of red light relentlessly blinking,

to no avail, this misguided heart keeps pulling and drawing,
the clouds merge and diverge
morning and night

Growing gardens in the dark corners of our minds

my brain is contorting into all kinds of odd shapes,

distorting all of my fears into leering shadows,

fogging up the rear windows,

twisting innocent intentions in dark dimensions,

the windscreen is cracking under the harsh breaths of the tired sky,

everybody is leaving this town,
and soon, so will I,

we grow gardens in our veins to weed out
the confusions that reside in our minds,

we flush out the litter, one flower at a time,

don’t succumb to the pain,
don’t succumb to the pain,

we plant trees in our lungs
so that we can breathe clearly through the storms,

tear off leaves on the hardest days
as to shield us from stray shrapnel

I am yet to strike that balance
between lightness and casting heavy shadows

I am yet to poke that focal point that pins the centre of my mind to
the centre of the bulls eye on the dart board,

that settles all the minor confusions
and cancels out the long shot darts

protruding into the walls and the clasps of frames

penetrating the picture,
puncturing the image,

splintering into the perfect visage,

tearing open the finely crafted package to
unveil the raw material inside,

don’t shy away,
don’t shy away,

let’s scatter fallen petals through our bones,
infuse their essence into our souls