Crashing into Clouds

Somebody! Sound the alarm bell
ring it twice, if you will,

please sir,
it’s an emergency,
I’m falling,
into this heart pumping, vein pulsing,
sweaty palms kinda, slipping
into this requiem
weaving between sleeping and waking
this limbo, in-between place
where the ghosts of my past go to contemplate their next attack,

please madame,
I’ve lost my grip and the ground is sinking beneath me,
this falling is relentless
catching wind
clinging to dust,
this falling is getting heavy,
don’t think I can catch myself,

feet tucked in, hmmph,
nope, not that,
arms spread like wings, aahhh, oh wait no, oh no, definitely not that,

Thump!

okay, ground, is that you?
Is there anyone around, I’m confused

I need to keep this vehicle focused
straight ahead I’ll be steering,
the gasometer reads close to zero
and there are winding roads ahead,
I uh don’t think I can surpass this road block up ahead,

hey! You over there,
have you got anything to ease the latitude
Something to slow this thing down,
I just need something to steady the beat,

okay so,
I cut off the phone line,
tried suffocating the valve,
stopped visiting that part of town,
cut my hair short,
dyed it purple and green and blonde,
tried closing my eyes
without seeing your face under the lids,
but you’re standing there, vivid,
Your eyes like darts, piercing my flesh,
I’ve tried all of these things
but every time I come close to a beautiful thing
I drown in it, it suffocates me, I smother it’s freshness, it withers me,

my heart is still cascading through the clouds
while I grind through the gravel,
missing the clear roads before me
and the petrol station ahead,
the gasometer keeps beep beep beeping,
pings of red light relentlessly blinking,

to no avail, this misguided heart keeps pulling and drawing,
the clouds merge and diverge
morning and night

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