Bad feelings aren’t always bad

My soul shudders when I keep it in a cage,
every day I’m getting closer to keeping out in the fields
away from the steel bars and heavy locks,
at first freedom can feel like torture
after you’ve imprisoned yourself for too long,
I don’t like this feeling
but I take it in, it reminds me that I’m as human as you,
it doesn’t feel stable
it just feels clearer than stuffing it behind mental bars,
Cat Power is on my shoulder,
whispering husky reminders that we can only be free once we crank open our metal-heart-cages and listen to our insides,
I trail through the valleys
of far-away plains
that much of the world has forgotten about,
you wouldn’t know it unless you looked up,
amongst these narrow, hollow barrels of lost signals
there’s a starry night sky,
and we all share the same light,
peering through our own eye capsules,
rocketing through our own plains,
I guess I missed the road sign
that told me to turn left,
makes my head twist
pulls my neck away from myself,
these days I seem to trail on, sometimes for too long,
but I see more than if I’d stayed on the Google-maps-path
of life choices
and chronological societally-normal
trigger points of study, work, house and what ever follows after that,
makes me yawn before I even finish considering it,
my instincts tell me it’s all rubbish anyway,
see the tea that drips from the strainer,
I want to taste every drop
without having to clean up the dried leaves and forgotten fragments
of a passed day
so I’m learning to compile all the lost files and process them through the shredder in my brain,
to manouver the obstacles as they come my way,
so that they’ll stop
tainting today,
clouding the way,
I don’t like this feeling,
I just prefer it more than being numb.

One thought on “Bad feelings aren’t always bad

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